How this didn’t merit a CNN “Breaking News” alert, I don’t know, but: Apparently, anyone running Boston this year can get a free haircut.
And not the kind that I give myself the night before a race, with a pair of electric clippers and a #3 guard. A real haircut.
This is according to a
press release article on Watertown.patch.com titled “Hair Cuttery Offering Free Haircuts to Boston Marathon Runners,” which explains how it will work:
Just bring in your registration form or bib number from the Boston Marathon to the Watertown Hair Cuttery and while supplies last, receive a water bottle and a coupon for a free shampoo, cut and blow dry. “We believe in doing good things for a wide range of causes, especially for those who do extraordinary things for themselves and others,” said Dennis Ratner, founder and CEO of Hair Cuttery. “We want our customers to know that not only do we support their charitable efforts, but we are also proud to reward them for making those efforts.”
Readers, do you know what I call free haircuts? A good start.
We work so hard for that Boston bib, why shouldn’t it be a passport to a better life? Here are a few other perks that I, as a Boston Marathon runner myself, think Boston vets are entitled to:
- Entry to American Airlines’ Admirals Club lounges at airports worldwide.
- Our own parking spaces at shopping centers, next to the handicap spots. Stenciled with a yellow unicorn head on a blue background.
- As many grapes as we can eat, for free, while standing in the supermarket’s produce section.
- Free shoulder rubs. From anybody we choose.
- A free short stack at IHOP, and not just on National Pancake Day.
- You know what? Make that a free tall stack. Yeah. That’s right.
- Access to crime scenes.
Winners of Boston would get all of the above, of course, but also would enjoy a few bonus perks. For instance, they could speed with impunity and would have immunity from public urination charges. Also they would get 15% off any purchases at Macy’s, forever. Even on stuff that’s already on sale. (I like to imagine they would take advantage of all three of those perks in rapid succession.)
To everyone out there who has run Boston, I urge you to contact your favorite businesses and demand what’s coming to you.
Meantime, see you at the Hair Cuttery. Ask for Dennis; I hear he gives a mean shoulder rub.