Antique dealer sentenced for trafficking narwhal tusks

Narwhals are listed as threatened under the the U.S. Endangered Species Act and as near threatened by the International Union for Conservation of Nature and Natural Resources.

Source:	(AHN)	Reporter:	Kris Alingod
Location:	Boston, MA, United States	Published:	March 2, 2011 04:27 pm EST

A Massachusetts antique dealer has been sentenced to nearly three years for illegally buying tusks of narwhals, a mammal dubbed the unicorn of the sea, and teeth of nearly extinct sperm whales.

David Place, owner of the Manor House Antiques Cooperative will spend 33 months in prison for importing the teeth and tusks from Ukraine and selling the items at his Nantucket store and online, through ebay.

Place was convicted last November of eight counts including conspiracy and violations to the Lacey Act, a law against selling plants and animals illegally taken from the the wild that was enacted in 1900 and still in effect today.

Prosecutors said the antique dealer worked with a Ukrainian, Andrei Mikhalyov, to traffick teeth and tusks worth between $200,000 and $400,000. It is unlwful to import such items without permits and declarations to the U.S. Customs and Border Protection and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.

Mikhalyov has been deported after serving nine months in prison. He had pleaded guilty to charges related to the illegal trafficking.

Narwhals are listed as threatened under the the U.S. Endangered Species Act and as near threatened by the International Union for Conservation of Nature and Natural Resources. The animal is hunted for its skin, meat and ivory tusk, which grow out of the center of its head.

According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, narwhals are among species most vulnerable to climate change. The animal lives its whole life in the Artic, where changes in temperature quickly reduce or increase ice packs.

Such changes make the narwhal, which dives as deep as 1,500 meters to eat Arctic cod, Greenland halibut, shrimp and squid, susceptible to decreasing food when open water turns to ice.

When temperatures rise, narwhals can also become trapped beneath ice, preventing them from surfacing to breathe.

In other areas of the Artic where temperatures have risen and reduced sea ice, such as Hudson Bay, narwhals are in danger of increasing numbers of killer whales, its main predator.

Sperm whales are more in at risk of extinction than narwhals. The animal is listed as endangered under the U.S. Endangered Species Act and as vulnerable by the IUCN.

The animal in the classic novel “Moby Dick,” sperm whales were commerciallly hunted for oil for two centuries until 1987. The animals live in groups called pods and communicate by making patterned clicks.

We don’t know this antique dealer, but anyone who illegally sells narwhal tusks is no friend of unicorns.

In fact, anyone who legally sells narwhal tusks is no friend of unicorns. Unless the tusk sale proceeds go toward throwing a cupcake party!

You know what day is coming up, right? Just to get you up to speed:

• Stack Overflow’s first April Fool’s day came with glitter, cornify buttons, lots of pink, and Comic Sans.

• Last year, all user avatars turned into unicorn images, provided by a web service created by some weirdo with too much free time.

So, what about 2011? Well, while we do have some ideas, we’d be stupid not to ask the probably largest accumulation of… special… creativity on the Internet – and that’s obviously Meta*!

So, offer your ideas! Of course you won’t know until April 1st what actually happens (and we don’t promise anything), but be sure that we plan to reward great ideas with a little more than just a Meta rep bounty!

Except that your suggestions should be a) funny (at least in the eyes of most people), b) doable, and c) awesome, there are no restrictions. C’mon get crazy!

_{*cue obligatory “the sites are run by you” :)}

The above entry was listed in the programmer Q&A community StackOverflow.com. Apparently, unicorns have been integral in their past two years of April Fool’s jokes, and they need more ideas.

Who knew programmers were so whimsical?

(Well, probably whoever designed this: http://toxiferous.blogspot.com/2009/04/binary-unicorn-geek-t-shirts-and-gifts…

Bizarre Morale-booster for Detroit: Crowdsourcing a RoboCop

Posted by hipstomp | 22 Feb 2011  | 

Here’s the latest creative project funded by crowdsourcing, but this one’s not another Kickstarter ID project. Instead, as the DetroitNeedsRoboCop.com website gives away in the title, it’s an attempt to reinvigorate Detroit by erecting a statue of the cyborg po-po. And it’s garnered fifty grand in just six days.

As the Times reports,

The unusual fund-raising effort sprang from a question posed to Detroit’s mayor on Twitter last week by “a random dude in Massachusetts,” who proposed that the city celebrate “RoboCop” the same way Philadelphia does “Rocky,” according to the project’s Web site….

“Sometimes it takes a RoboCop to show a different way to do things,” said Mr. Paffendorf, a 29-year-old Internet entrepreneur [who helped organize the campaign]. “My hope is that it sets an example and puts this kind of funding on the map, so when people see big problems, they can think, ‘If crazy people raised $50,000 for a RoboCop statue, we can certainly raise more to take on something bigger.’ ”

I guess it’s possible a statue of RoboCop could somehow ease Detroit’s psychological woes; after all, the RoboCop on a Unicorn project has lifted my spirits innumerable times.

We would certainly contribute to a statue of Robocop on a unicorn in Detroit! For payment, do you accept jellybeans or children’s laughter?

Excuse you? Unicorns aren’t real? We beg to differ. If anything, unicorns may be too real.

We’ve collected images from around the web of some of the most outrageous, bold and hilarious unicorns you’ll ever lay eyes on. If this list doesn’t leave you a true believer, than there is no hope for you. We’re sorry. You live a life free of magic, and for that we pity you. Not in a real way, but kind of.

CLUB UNICORN
When this guy hits the dance floor, all of the other, less skilled fantastical creatures grab their ladies and go home. This guy is the original Mr. Steal Ya Girl.

MURDEROUS UNICORN
Don’t step to this one-horned beast. He’ll end your life if he doesn’t like the look on your face.

MONOGOMOUS UNICORN
There’s only one woman for this unicorn and there will only ever be one woman for this unicorn.

ORIGAMI UNICORN
Hands down one of the most impressive types of unicorn out there.

LEATHER DADDY UNICORN
Don’t let his soft exterior fool you! A night with this unicorn will start out with a round of beers with some close sadomasochist friends and end with you pantless and bound to the side of a freeway overpass with a tennis ball shoved in your mouth.

STONER UNICORN
This unicorn has no idea why she’s on this list, but she wants to know if you have any Doritos.

BRO UNICORN
Beware of this breed of unicorn. Invite him into your home and it wil only be a matter of time unitl you’re asking who drank all the Bacardi O and pissed in your hamper.

NANCY KERRIGAN-STATUS UNICORN
No one since former Olympian Nancy Kerrigan has taken to the ice like this dude.

MAZE UNICORN
Too. Many. Important. Things. Happening. Here. For. Us. To. Function.

FRIEND TO THE DISABLED UNICORN
We get a lot of emails from people asking, “Is it safe to leave my disabled relative with a unicorn?” Here’s your answer, Glen from Cleveland. Please stop emailing.

BAD BOY UNICORN
Ladies with daddy issues, this is the unicorn for you. Rude, aggressive, constantly surrounded by trashy women… He might just be the mythical creature you’ve been looking for your entire life.

BARBIE UNICORN
Out of all of the professions Barbie’s ever had, this one is definitely our favorite.

SURVIVOR UNICORN
You might be focused on the young man bold enough to rip the horn right off of a unicorn’s head, but we can’t help but notice that this fantastical beast is still alive. Someone get Oprah on the phone!

EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE UNICORN
The most common complaint we hear from people is that, in their experience, unicorns shut down easily and have a hard time talking about their feelings. Not this guy.

PENSIVE UNICORN
This one’s for all you dreamers out there. We’re pretty sure you can relate to this scene (We’re all so insignificant, right?)

LIGHT SWITCH UNICORN
Your obsessive-compulsive tendency to flick your light switch on and off wont lessen with this painted creature around, but it will definitely seem a little more magical.

PUPPY UNICORN
We said “puppy unicorn.” What more do you need to know?

ACTUAL UNICORN
Next time someone tries to tell you unicorns don’t exist, tell them to SUCK ON THIS. Non-believers to the left!

CANNED UNICORN
OK, now… That’s just delicious.

Let’s just get this out of the way:
We are undeniably disappointed the radioactive mutant unicorn wrestled by Mighty Samson did not make this list (http://www.boingboing.net/2007/06/27/lethal_nuclear_mutan.html).

Nonetheless, Urlesque.com was successful at finding a unicorn-shaped maze where a tiny mermaid-like zombie princess is poised to enter an open gash in the unicorn’s thigh in order to wiggle her way out of its head like pastel mucus.

So it’s not all a bust!

We truly appreciate the disclaimer at the start of this music video stating that no mythical creatures were harmed during its making. However, we would also appreciate the following disclaimers, to make sure the unicorns’ reputations go unscathed:

1. The alcohol content of the sparkling wine was 6.3%, making it one step up from a wine cooler in classiness and potency, but not significant enough for the unicorns to become belligerent.

2. The unicorn with the eye-patch is Ke$ha’s boyfriend of 2 months, not some random make-out buddy.

3. Rainbow laser guns will indeed kill James Van Der Beek, but they are quite harmless when used on unicorns.

4. Most unicorns get vertigo after standing on two legs for more than 10 minutes.