Saddest Letter in History? Possibly.

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Trying to find a typewriter to make this letter was half the tragedy.

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Rainbow Art, Courtesy of Your Trash Can
      via treehugger.com
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Artist Liz Jones is making some fabulous art out of found objects - usually found in the trash can. Her “Rubbish Rainbows” are all the rage!  
Tough luck for all the black Bic lighters out there. Your 15 minutes of fame will come… 
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Rainbow Art, Courtesy of Your Trash Can

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Artist Liz Jones is making some fabulous art out of found objects - usually found in the trash can. Her “Rubbish Rainbows” are all the rage!

Tough luck for all the black Bic lighters out there. Your 15 minutes of fame will come…

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Flame War! With special guest star…Unicorns!
      

With some frequency, an article appears in this esteemed publication that captures the imagination of our citizenry.  Readers appreciate the articles which bring these topics into focus.

I remember a hearty response to the sighting of Bald Eagles on the banks of Lake Audubon.  The comments went on for days and days with new sightings and informative links about the raptor that serves as our country’s  symbol.  Had the excitement not died down, one of those eagles would have almost certainly been competing for the Hunter Mill District seat on the school board and another would have found a position on the DRB.

However, there are other articles which appear benign and yet inspire such a frenzied chain of comments that one starts to believe that the author has craftily chosen the topic to inspire that level of response from the community.  It gets personal.

The article itself is always about an issue which is simple enough that many people feel confident expressing their complete comprehension of the matter at hand.   Both the confidence and the controversy are important in fueling a commentary stream of any length.  

If it’s an article weighing Keynesian Economics against The Austrian School, the author has failed to make it simple enough to evoke the necessary comments.  If it’s an article about chocolate-chip cookies being delicious, then there’s no controversy.  The article crafted to create the longest stream of commentary may appear to be harmless but must instill in the potential audience two simultaneous responses:  1)  I know more than this guy does about this topic and 2)  This guy is a jerk-covered jerk with jerk filling.

And then the comments begin.  Let us say that the article itself is about county funds being used to train unicorns as service animals.  The article outlines the planning process, the funding, the timeline and the pedigrees of the unicorns.  And then the comments starts coming.

HornKeeper says, “I have trained unicorns to do dishes, serve coffee and hem clothing for the past 17 years.  Unicorns are docile and clean creatures.  However, you are a right moron for thinking that unicorns can be trained in groups.  They are solitary creatures.  That is one of the three differences between them and horses.  I hate the air you breathe.”

CountyBeanCounter says, “Unicorns are dumb and imaginary.  I do not want my very real tax money used for this program.  Griffins, on the other hand, are often used in epic battles.  We need more eagle-headed, lion-bodied creature funding.  Anyone who thinks otherwise should be dipped in a vat of Ebola.

GirlWithADragonOrTwo says, “Unicorns are real and they are real beautiful too.  I love them lots.  Mean people suck.  I saw a pretty pixie once.  You wouldn’t know anything about that.”

OMG says, “I’m not an expert or anything, but I was thinking that I might attend the meeting and  get more information about the issue.  Thank you for this interesting article.”

  Of course, the next 10  comments are about how OMG is either enouraging the enslavement of mystical beings, single-handedly bankrupting the county or a known Griffin Hater.  

The commentors  may hate the author of the article, and often turn sour on one another, but what they dislike the most is someone who does not reflect their zeal.  The land of anonymous comments has citizenship requirements.  

Without taking a firm stance on whether or not public funds should be used to train one of antiquity’s foremost images of purity and grace to help local citizens cross our streets more safely, I would just like to speak up on behalf of the poor sap whose name is attached to the piece.  

The person who has spent time crafting his or her four or five best paragraphs on the subject must now defend against accusations ranging from lack of familiarity with the grammar and syntax of the English language to poor personal hygiene.   Maybe, and I am asserting this in only the most theoretical of terms, the author is merely giving voice to a sincere perspective and is not actually threatening the moral bearings of this or any other community.

It is possible, although I cannot say how probable it is, that we are capable of living among one another and expressing differing opinions in a civil manner. 

Then again, I may indeed know nothing and lack the ability to string together a cogent sentence.  People have said that about me. In the comments, of course.
via reston.patch.com
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Okay, let’s set the record straight. Unicorns can be trained in groups, but they really, really, really prefer 1:1 attention. Really.
And hey, GirlWithADragonOrTwo: Way to maneuver a comment stream with oars fashioned from non sequiturs! We like your style.
Pinecone.
.

Flame War! With special guest star…Unicorns!

With some frequency, an article appears in this esteemed publication that captures the imagination of our citizenry.  Readers appreciate the articles which bring these topics into focus.

I remember a hearty response to the sighting of Bald Eagles on the banks of Lake Audubon.  The comments went on for days and days with new sightings and informative links about the raptor that serves as our country’s  symbol.  Had the excitement not died down, one of those eagles would have almost certainly been competing for the Hunter Mill District seat on the school board and another would have found a position on the DRB.

However, there are other articles which appear benign and yet inspire such a frenzied chain of comments that one starts to believe that the author has craftily chosen the topic to inspire that level of response from the community.  It gets personal.

The article itself is always about an issue which is simple enough that many people feel confident expressing their complete comprehension of the matter at hand.   Both the confidence and the controversy are important in fueling a commentary stream of any length.  

If it’s an article weighing Keynesian Economics against The Austrian School, the author has failed to make it simple enough to evoke the necessary comments.  If it’s an article about chocolate-chip cookies being delicious, then there’s no controversy.  The article crafted to create the longest stream of commentary may appear to be harmless but must instill in the potential audience two simultaneous responses:  1)  I know more than this guy does about this topic and 2)  This guy is a jerk-covered jerk with jerk filling.

And then the comments begin.  Let us say that the article itself is about county funds being used to train unicorns as service animals.  The article outlines the planning process, the funding, the timeline and the pedigrees of the unicorns.  And then the comments starts coming.

HornKeeper says, “I have trained unicorns to do dishes, serve coffee and hem clothing for the past 17 years.  Unicorns are docile and clean creatures.  However, you are a right moron for thinking that unicorns can be trained in groups.  They are solitary creatures.  That is one of the three differences between them and horses.  I hate the air you breathe.”

CountyBeanCounter says, “Unicorns are dumb and imaginary.  I do not want my very real tax money used for this program.  Griffins, on the other hand, are often used in epic battles.  We need more eagle-headed, lion-bodied creature funding.  Anyone who thinks otherwise should be dipped in a vat of Ebola.

GirlWithADragonOrTwo says, “Unicorns are real and they are real beautiful too.  I love them lots.  Mean people suck.  I saw a pretty pixie once.  You wouldn’t know anything about that.”

OMG says, “I’m not an expert or anything, but I was thinking that I might attend the meeting and  get more information about the issue.  Thank you for this interesting article.”

  Of course, the next 10  comments are about how OMG is either enouraging the enslavement of mystical beings, single-handedly bankrupting the county or a known Griffin Hater.  

The commentors  may hate the author of the article, and often turn sour on one another, but what they dislike the most is someone who does not reflect their zeal.  The land of anonymous comments has citizenship requirements.  

Without taking a firm stance on whether or not public funds should be used to train one of antiquity’s foremost images of purity and grace to help local citizens cross our streets more safely, I would just like to speak up on behalf of the poor sap whose name is attached to the piece.  

The person who has spent time crafting his or her four or five best paragraphs on the subject must now defend against accusations ranging from lack of familiarity with the grammar and syntax of the English language to poor personal hygiene.   Maybe, and I am asserting this in only the most theoretical of terms, the author is merely giving voice to a sincere perspective and is not actually threatening the moral bearings of this or any other community.

It is possible, although I cannot say how probable it is, that we are capable of living among one another and expressing differing opinions in a civil manner. 

Then again, I may indeed know nothing and lack the ability to string together a cogent sentence.  People have said that about me. In the comments, of course.

.

Okay, let’s set the record straight. Unicorns can be trained in groups, but they really, really, really prefer 1:1 attention. Really.

And hey, GirlWithADragonOrTwo: Way to maneuver a comment stream with oars fashioned from non sequiturs! We like your style.

Pinecone.

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A Happy Keanu Reeves Frolics like a Unicorn

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Thank you, http://happykeanu.com, for this inspiring photo. We know what our unicorn farm’s next motivational poster will be!

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"Unicorn" Becomes an Emotion

  • Wednesday was packed with breaking news from the Salem Police and Fire Departments, but it was also an historic day after it was announced a city landmark — the Salem Harbor Power Station — will be closing. We conducted a poll to see what you thought and here is how you responded:
    What best describes your feeling on Dominion’s announcement Salem Harbor Power will close?
    Number of Responses
    Excited17
    Uncertain11
    Worried9
    Relieved6
    Annoyed0
    SOLAR POWER (reader-generated answer)2
    A reader also added the answer
Unicorns to the polls. We’re not quite sure how a mythological animal has anything to do with the question, but five people voted for it.

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"Unicorns" is a valid answer to every question.

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From the History of Nightmares Archives
      via rrstar.com
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Though Creepy Clown and Broken Arm were the heavies, Husky Mouse was the brains behind the unicorn’s lynching.
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From the History of Nightmares Archives

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Though Creepy Clown and Broken Arm were the heavies, Husky Mouse was the brains behind the unicorn’s lynching.

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Art and Unicorns: Both Found in the Bible!

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The San Francisco artist someguy has taken his Sharpie to some of history’s bestsellers, calling out significant words. Here in the Old Testament book of Isaiah, unicorns make their appearance! The Leviathan, on the other hand, is still waiting patiently in Job for his 15 minutes of fame.

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Gagaville Takes Over where Farmville Left Off…regarding Unicorns

Facebook welcomes fans to Gagaville

Posted at: 05/12/2011 8:49 AM

nullLady Gaga fans can soon head to the Gagaville Farm on Facebook.

In a new game, the singer’s fans can interact with leather-clad sheep riding on motorcycles, cavort with unicorns and play with crystals.

The site will be up and running May 17th.

In the game, players have to complete certain tasks in order to hear portions of unreleased tracks from the upcoming album “Born This Way,” due for release May 23rd.

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The unicorns were bummed when they found out they didn’t get motorcycles, too. Perhaps Lady Gaga needs a reminder of how much unicorns love to race.

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Unicorn Hill and the Problem Pavement

Pledge to repair a problem pavement

» Coun Andy Fry has complained about Unicorn Hill’s pavement.

Harriet Ernstsons

13 May. Updated: 13 May 09:55

ACTION has been called for over a pavement a borough councillor, who works with residents with mobility problems, has branded a ‘nightmare’.

Coun Andy Fry has complained a number of times to Worcestershire County Council over the loose bricks along Unicorn Hill in the town centre.
He told the Standard: “Over the years, Unicorn Hill has just become a mess and the top half of it is absolutely appalling.

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Whenever the top half of a unicorn comes to be described as “absolutely appalling”, it is demoted to a horse.

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U.S. Politicians Formally Recognize Unicorns

Visual aids and metaphors were the order of the day as Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) set the stage by quoting a David Letterman gasoline-price joke about rats carpooling from New Jersey and with a slide depicting a dog riding a pony—indicating that he believed the hearing was a “dog and pony show” and “political theater.”

Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) picked up the zoological theme, saying, “You’d have an easier time convincing the American people that a unicorn just flew into this hearing room than that these big oil companies need taxpayer subsidies. That’s the real fairy tale.”

Next up, Sen. Pat Robert (R-Kansas) said that it was “very difficult to follow the unicorn from New York, who has a very sharp horn. Are you all right over there [he asked the oil executives]? Sometimes a unicorn can sort of morph into a rhinoceros.”

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Of course no one would believe a unicorn flew into the hearing room. It would be a Pegacorn who flew in, and it would probably knock first. Because Pegacorns have manners.