Kids Learn Tolerance through Anti-Unicornism

Miller said the “incorrect” scenes are humorous.

    In one, fifth-grade Hillside Elementary student Hannah Flick sticks a unicorn horn on her forehead and sits with her friends at lunch. Classmate Rachel Dunmire plays the snobby girl who makes fun of Hannah for her horn, refusing to sit at the same table.

    That’s not tolerant, the girls said.

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It’s all fun and games until someone files a lawsuit citing anti-mythological-creature discrimination.

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5-Year-Old Introduces World to Ponycorns through Video Game

Hi! Thanks for checking out Sissy’s Magical Ponycorn Adventure, a Flash web game illustrated and voiced by Cassie Creighton, age 5.
If you see a white screen below, please be patient while the game loads (it’s worth the wait!)

5-Year-Old Girl Makes Video Game

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We haven’t been this fascinated with a 5-year-old’s zany adventure story featuring a variation on unicorns since Axe Cop!

To view the video game in all its crayoned glory, click the Untoldentertainment link above.

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Comedian Comes Out about His Love for Unicorns

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Thank you, John Ramsey, for bringing some intelligence to the debate on the existence of unicorn. In particular, your inclusion of science in discussing the digestive system may put some rather unusual theories to rest. For example, this picture is not normal - it’s a portrayal of diarrhea and belongs only in veterinarian textbooks.

Now, where do we find those narwhal Trapper Keepers?

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Unicorn Shoes: A Lesson in False Advertising for Unicorns

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Let’s just get this out of the way: Yes, these hand-painted platform heels are awesome.

But the unicorn who clicked on the link for “Unicorn Shoes” was truly confused that they weren’t shoes designed for him. Sure, Jellyfish offers sizes 5.5 - 10, but unicorns operate from a slightly different sizing chart.

So, unless you enjoy disappointing unicorns, make an effort to specify your unicorn-themed products are “for humans”.

And if you enjoy disappointing unicorns, there’s a special place in The Black Hole of Sadness for you.

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Unicorn Mashup: The Dark Knight + My Little Pony

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The Joker may seem significantly less malevolent without the scars on his face, but - wow! - is that some great casting for the part of Alfred! Perhaps it would do well for Michael Caine to consider wearing a gigantic pink bow.

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Saddest Letter in History? Possibly.

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Trying to find a typewriter to make this letter was half the tragedy.

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Rainbow Art, Courtesy of Your Trash Can
      via treehugger.com
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Artist Liz Jones is making some fabulous art out of found objects - usually found in the trash can. Her “Rubbish Rainbows” are all the rage!  
Tough luck for all the black Bic lighters out there. Your 15 minutes of fame will come… 
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Rainbow Art, Courtesy of Your Trash Can

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Artist Liz Jones is making some fabulous art out of found objects - usually found in the trash can. Her “Rubbish Rainbows” are all the rage!

Tough luck for all the black Bic lighters out there. Your 15 minutes of fame will come…

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Flame War! With special guest star…Unicorns!
      

With some frequency, an article appears in this esteemed publication that captures the imagination of our citizenry.  Readers appreciate the articles which bring these topics into focus.

I remember a hearty response to the sighting of Bald Eagles on the banks of Lake Audubon.  The comments went on for days and days with new sightings and informative links about the raptor that serves as our country’s  symbol.  Had the excitement not died down, one of those eagles would have almost certainly been competing for the Hunter Mill District seat on the school board and another would have found a position on the DRB.

However, there are other articles which appear benign and yet inspire such a frenzied chain of comments that one starts to believe that the author has craftily chosen the topic to inspire that level of response from the community.  It gets personal.

The article itself is always about an issue which is simple enough that many people feel confident expressing their complete comprehension of the matter at hand.   Both the confidence and the controversy are important in fueling a commentary stream of any length.  

If it’s an article weighing Keynesian Economics against The Austrian School, the author has failed to make it simple enough to evoke the necessary comments.  If it’s an article about chocolate-chip cookies being delicious, then there’s no controversy.  The article crafted to create the longest stream of commentary may appear to be harmless but must instill in the potential audience two simultaneous responses:  1)  I know more than this guy does about this topic and 2)  This guy is a jerk-covered jerk with jerk filling.

And then the comments begin.  Let us say that the article itself is about county funds being used to train unicorns as service animals.  The article outlines the planning process, the funding, the timeline and the pedigrees of the unicorns.  And then the comments starts coming.

HornKeeper says, “I have trained unicorns to do dishes, serve coffee and hem clothing for the past 17 years.  Unicorns are docile and clean creatures.  However, you are a right moron for thinking that unicorns can be trained in groups.  They are solitary creatures.  That is one of the three differences between them and horses.  I hate the air you breathe.”

CountyBeanCounter says, “Unicorns are dumb and imaginary.  I do not want my very real tax money used for this program.  Griffins, on the other hand, are often used in epic battles.  We need more eagle-headed, lion-bodied creature funding.  Anyone who thinks otherwise should be dipped in a vat of Ebola.

GirlWithADragonOrTwo says, “Unicorns are real and they are real beautiful too.  I love them lots.  Mean people suck.  I saw a pretty pixie once.  You wouldn’t know anything about that.”

OMG says, “I’m not an expert or anything, but I was thinking that I might attend the meeting and  get more information about the issue.  Thank you for this interesting article.”

  Of course, the next 10  comments are about how OMG is either enouraging the enslavement of mystical beings, single-handedly bankrupting the county or a known Griffin Hater.  

The commentors  may hate the author of the article, and often turn sour on one another, but what they dislike the most is someone who does not reflect their zeal.  The land of anonymous comments has citizenship requirements.  

Without taking a firm stance on whether or not public funds should be used to train one of antiquity’s foremost images of purity and grace to help local citizens cross our streets more safely, I would just like to speak up on behalf of the poor sap whose name is attached to the piece.  

The person who has spent time crafting his or her four or five best paragraphs on the subject must now defend against accusations ranging from lack of familiarity with the grammar and syntax of the English language to poor personal hygiene.   Maybe, and I am asserting this in only the most theoretical of terms, the author is merely giving voice to a sincere perspective and is not actually threatening the moral bearings of this or any other community.

It is possible, although I cannot say how probable it is, that we are capable of living among one another and expressing differing opinions in a civil manner. 

Then again, I may indeed know nothing and lack the ability to string together a cogent sentence.  People have said that about me. In the comments, of course.
via reston.patch.com
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Okay, let’s set the record straight. Unicorns can be trained in groups, but they really, really, really prefer 1:1 attention. Really.
And hey, GirlWithADragonOrTwo: Way to maneuver a comment stream with oars fashioned from non sequiturs! We like your style.
Pinecone.
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Flame War! With special guest star…Unicorns!

With some frequency, an article appears in this esteemed publication that captures the imagination of our citizenry.  Readers appreciate the articles which bring these topics into focus.

I remember a hearty response to the sighting of Bald Eagles on the banks of Lake Audubon.  The comments went on for days and days with new sightings and informative links about the raptor that serves as our country’s  symbol.  Had the excitement not died down, one of those eagles would have almost certainly been competing for the Hunter Mill District seat on the school board and another would have found a position on the DRB.

However, there are other articles which appear benign and yet inspire such a frenzied chain of comments that one starts to believe that the author has craftily chosen the topic to inspire that level of response from the community.  It gets personal.

The article itself is always about an issue which is simple enough that many people feel confident expressing their complete comprehension of the matter at hand.   Both the confidence and the controversy are important in fueling a commentary stream of any length.  

If it’s an article weighing Keynesian Economics against The Austrian School, the author has failed to make it simple enough to evoke the necessary comments.  If it’s an article about chocolate-chip cookies being delicious, then there’s no controversy.  The article crafted to create the longest stream of commentary may appear to be harmless but must instill in the potential audience two simultaneous responses:  1)  I know more than this guy does about this topic and 2)  This guy is a jerk-covered jerk with jerk filling.

And then the comments begin.  Let us say that the article itself is about county funds being used to train unicorns as service animals.  The article outlines the planning process, the funding, the timeline and the pedigrees of the unicorns.  And then the comments starts coming.

HornKeeper says, “I have trained unicorns to do dishes, serve coffee and hem clothing for the past 17 years.  Unicorns are docile and clean creatures.  However, you are a right moron for thinking that unicorns can be trained in groups.  They are solitary creatures.  That is one of the three differences between them and horses.  I hate the air you breathe.”

CountyBeanCounter says, “Unicorns are dumb and imaginary.  I do not want my very real tax money used for this program.  Griffins, on the other hand, are often used in epic battles.  We need more eagle-headed, lion-bodied creature funding.  Anyone who thinks otherwise should be dipped in a vat of Ebola.

GirlWithADragonOrTwo says, “Unicorns are real and they are real beautiful too.  I love them lots.  Mean people suck.  I saw a pretty pixie once.  You wouldn’t know anything about that.”

OMG says, “I’m not an expert or anything, but I was thinking that I might attend the meeting and  get more information about the issue.  Thank you for this interesting article.”

  Of course, the next 10  comments are about how OMG is either enouraging the enslavement of mystical beings, single-handedly bankrupting the county or a known Griffin Hater.  

The commentors  may hate the author of the article, and often turn sour on one another, but what they dislike the most is someone who does not reflect their zeal.  The land of anonymous comments has citizenship requirements.  

Without taking a firm stance on whether or not public funds should be used to train one of antiquity’s foremost images of purity and grace to help local citizens cross our streets more safely, I would just like to speak up on behalf of the poor sap whose name is attached to the piece.  

The person who has spent time crafting his or her four or five best paragraphs on the subject must now defend against accusations ranging from lack of familiarity with the grammar and syntax of the English language to poor personal hygiene.   Maybe, and I am asserting this in only the most theoretical of terms, the author is merely giving voice to a sincere perspective and is not actually threatening the moral bearings of this or any other community.

It is possible, although I cannot say how probable it is, that we are capable of living among one another and expressing differing opinions in a civil manner. 

Then again, I may indeed know nothing and lack the ability to string together a cogent sentence.  People have said that about me. In the comments, of course.

.

Okay, let’s set the record straight. Unicorns can be trained in groups, but they really, really, really prefer 1:1 attention. Really.

And hey, GirlWithADragonOrTwo: Way to maneuver a comment stream with oars fashioned from non sequiturs! We like your style.

Pinecone.

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A Happy Keanu Reeves Frolics like a Unicorn

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Thank you, http://happykeanu.com, for this inspiring photo. We know what our unicorn farm’s next motivational poster will be!

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"Unicorn" Becomes an Emotion

  • Wednesday was packed with breaking news from the Salem Police and Fire Departments, but it was also an historic day after it was announced a city landmark — the Salem Harbor Power Station — will be closing. We conducted a poll to see what you thought and here is how you responded:
    What best describes your feeling on Dominion’s announcement Salem Harbor Power will close?
    Number of Responses
    Excited17
    Uncertain11
    Worried9
    Relieved6
    Annoyed0
    SOLAR POWER (reader-generated answer)2
    A reader also added the answer
Unicorns to the polls. We’re not quite sure how a mythological animal has anything to do with the question, but five people voted for it.

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"Unicorns" is a valid answer to every question.

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